A Rant.

I am utterly aware I need to get up to date on my "30 Days Of Pictures" blogs. Believe me, it will be explained in further posts why I am so behind. However, because I am a passionate, busy, distracted man, I tend to get built up with emotion about things and then burst out in rants, which pretty much sound like "Ihateallyoufuckingpeoplewhyareyounotdeadyetgetoutofmywayandletmelivemylife!" Which is not the right answer. I do not enjoy being frustrated, but due to the world we live in, it happens all too often.
Now. I know I have posted rants before. Anyone who knows me knows I rage quite often at the stupidity of the human race. However, as of late I have begun to examine why I feel as though everyone is running around in a rat cage. Do I have a superiority complex? Am I arrogant and conceited? Do I simply suffer from an overactive imagination and an unclear view of how the world works? No, no, and no.
Did you know there is a simple system which allows us to examine a set of statements and determine whether they are valid? It is called logic. No, not reason, which I will get to in a moment, but logic. I have not realized I have not been using the term "logic" correctly until recently (when I started reading "Logic for Dummies"), and I now understand just why exactly my use of logic can help me to conclude why I am so frustrated at the world at large.
See, the majority of my problems lie in what are called unsound arguments. Wait...Whaaaat?? Let me explain.
1. An argument is basically a set of finite premises that lead to a related conclusion.
This is a valid argument.
Premises:-All men are mortal.
-Socrates is a man.
ConclusionSocrates is mortal.

This is an invalid argument.
Premises:-Socrates lived in Greece.
-If Socrates lived in Greece, then all primates are left-handed.
Conclusion:All animals are left handed.

As you can see, the premises and conclusion in an invalid argument have attempted to have a relation, but they do not. This is where the first problem arises. We can turn an invalid argument into a valid argument easy peasy:
Premises:-Socrates lived in Greece.
-All animals are primates.
-If Socrates lived in Greece, then all primates are left handed.
Conclusion:
All animals are left handed.

If you accept the premise and the conclusion follows the premise then the argument is valid. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THE ARGUMENT IS SOUND. An argument is sound only when the premises are factual, not just when you accept them to be factual. Therefore, we get such arguments as this:
Premises:-Science cannot explain everything in the Universe.
-If science cannot explain everything in the Universe, science is wrong.
-Science cannot explain God.
-God is the creator of the Heavens, Earth, and Everything Else. He is omnipotent and benevolent.
Conclusion:God exists, is benevolent, and omnipotent, and science is wrong.

THIS ARGUMENT IS NOT SOUND YET IT IS WIDELY ACCEPTED BY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. Why, you ask? Because people want to believe it. People want to believe that there is a greater power watching over them, guiding their actions, protecting them and teaching them life lessons. And this is the crux of unsound arguments. People can, do, and will believe unsound arguments because if you accept the premise, and the conclusion logically follows the premises,  then the argument is valid. And most people stop their thought process right at that point because they believe that is all they need. My argument does not need to be sound, because I have faith and we don't all know God's plan.
This is where I begin to want to claw out my own eyes. People,  THINKING, INTELLIGENT PEOPLE, come to conclusions such as this. They believe that there comes a certain point where the only thing which guides you is a) faith, b) trust in a higher power, or c) the understanding that the Spaghetti Monster will bless us all with Parmesan cheese if we all just pray a lot. Exaggerations, of course, but reductio ad absurdum works here. I will grant you: no one is perfect. But, goddamnit, when did we stop trying to be? When did we just turn over our lives to whatever is the most prevalent power of the moment? See, because it manifests itself in every way:
-People don't trust the government, yet they still allow it to make decisions for them  
-People don't know anything about God, Allah, etc, but yet turn their lives over to them on a Daily Basis
-People don't trust other people (i.e. family) but yet allow them to run their lives and cause them massive amounts of grief

And on... and on... and on... and on....

They believe these things and act this way because society tells them this is how they must act. Extremely convoluted and basic causality chain: philosophers hundreds of years ago decide that everything is relative and we cannot tell what is real in life, so the woman who gets high all the time and nearly dies in a car wreck blames her lot in life on God, her family, and the government for not doing enough to help her get out of her bad habits and end her misery, then she teaches THAT to her four illegitimate children. Because society has told her not to believe in what is real, factual, and right in front of her eyes: it has told her that everything is relative, so why shouldn't her problems be everyone else's fault instead of her own failure to reason?

People are losing their reason. It is Reason which tells us whether a set of premises is sound. It is Reason which tells us we cannot run out into a busy street and stand still and still live because A FUCKING CAR WILL HIT YOU AND YOU WILL DIE. It is Reason which is allows us to analyze our world and interpret our surroundings. God does not do it for us. The government does not implant processing equipment into your brain so you can survive. Your family does not act as a proxy through which all your decisions can be made and which your life revolves around for its entirety. You Are The Sole Arbiter Of Your Destiny. And the only thing which separates you from a snail is that gray area between your ears. A snail has no control over its destiny: it only knows pleasure and pain. Turn off your reason, and you are a snail. Yet this is what society teaches us. Accept valid, unsound arguments because it doesn't matter if your FACTS are correct, it only matters whether your FAITH in what you BELIEVE is right, but which you have no PROOF for, is strong. Kill those Muslims, boys, because they are all Anti-American, and they don't believe in the Bible, apple pie, Chevy, and the American way of life. Murder those infidels, sons of Allah, because they are corrupted by greed and sin, immersed in a consumerism culture, and have no faith in anything anymore. CAN WE PLEASE JUST FUCKING GROW UP AND STOP JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS? For the love of all things holy, it's like we give two children blindfolds to block their sight and bats with spikes, put them in a confined room, and tell them to start swinging. It's asinine and ridiculous.

And it manifests itself here in America as well. I used to despise Colbert and Jon Stewart because, being raised uber-conservative, I found them to be "destroying the American way of life". Now that I am all grown up into a real boy, however, I realize... they are simply pointing out all the stupid ass decisions the people in this country make hour to hour. And, disorganized as I sound over here, passionate as I may be, I do have a point: we need to pull our heads out of our asses.

I am a soldier in the United States Army. I joined to serve this country and protect the citizens of the United States and the Constitution. I swore to uphold the law and to obey the orders of the officers appointed over me. And no matter how stupid and foolish those orders get, as long as they are not unlawful and immoral, I will follow them. I do this for a reason. My premise is this: if I do not serve in these positions, a person of questionable character may and most likely shall serve in such a position, and possibly allow the people and country I love to come to harm. I cannot allow such a catastrophic failure of responsibility. Because I have a mind, because I can use my reason, I must (for now) serve the people of the United States. But in order for this to work, it must go both ways. PEOPLE NEED TO START THINKING. People need to stop operating on false premises and take a look at why they behave the way they do. I get that y'all have differences of opinion. I get that most everyone has different cultural, religious, and political backgrounds. However, there comes a point when the positive and negative forces of this universe become absolute. One cannot escape death. One cannot ignore reality and evade destruction. Destruction is the effect of ignorance. The laws of physics and reality cannot, in fact, be ignored. You can immerse yourself in whatever virtual world you like, you can live off liquid food and hide yourself away from the world... but you still have a body. You still need oxygen. You can still be killed. Seem intensely off subject? Think about it. When you get good grades in school, have a good home life, work hard for what you get, then thank God or Allah or the government for providing you with the opportunity to allow you to do these things... aren't you evading reality? Aren't you ignoring the ever present reality in which You Accomplished What You Set Out To Achieve?

I'm not saying God is not real. I am not discounting or disproving anything because I CANNOT. I have no evidence. I have no premise on the subject of God. I know the Universe exists. I know there are things in this Universe I cannot yet explain. I BELIEVE that a Supreme Being of some sort created the Universe and dictates its rules. But, and this is the most important part of this rant...


My belief in the existence of a Supreme Being, which I call God, does not have any bearing whatsoever on my views about human behavior, my desires for my own life, or my interaction with any other human being. I cannot, and will never, to ANY degree, ask another person to believe what I believe simply because my belief exists. 


My only way to convince another person that I am right is through reason. Extrapolate the above statement to any degree, substitute your own facts and circumstances and then use it as the baseline, and you will discover that people everywhere, to some degree, ask/demand/intimidate/persuade/seduce others to believe what they believe simply because their belief exists. And this throws sound arguments right out the window and into the rain to die. When we operate on these types of emotions, we can no longer behave as sensible human beings, because we are no longer using sense. And, in a world in which a falling object will hit you if you stand in it's path, if you decide to ignore that falling object, ignore logic and reason, and believe that everything will be okay just because you want it to be, then you are in for a big surprise when that object hits you directly in the head an knocks you unconscious.

...

Okay, Eric, breathe a second.

...

My final point in all this is I am tired of human beings running around this planet, operating on emotion and not reason, giving in to passions simply because their society tells them to, and treating other human beings as less than such because they believe that they are right simply because they believe it. It is circular, it is destructive, and it is so prevalent now that it is almost impossible to determine which causes in this world are just and which are not unless you sit down and draw out an engineering schematic leading back to every decision a person has made in their life. We have reason for a Reason. It is there, it is a tool, it is the only tool which we can use which will allow us to interpret the world. We use our five senses to receive data; we interpret said data; we break it down into valid and invalid data; we break it further down into sound and unsound data; and we act on the sound data and discount the unsound data. To do otherwise is, by its original definition, insanity.

And I am now exhausted.

Because I Cannot Truly Live Without It

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item



And I do not just mean that in a biological sense. I love my mind, I love reason, and I treasure my mind above all things.

Double Blog (Had No Interwebz Last Night)

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory


Yes, yes... I know, it's cheesy, it's dumb, it's cliche. I. Do. Not. Care. The day LW and I got married... It was wonderful, as in Full Of Wonder. As I have said before, I am not much for being single. I don't enjoy spending nights alone with myself unless I am doing serious introspection ( and I do that all the time). But even for me, getting married was a big step. It is something that is pure, wonderful and true. Most people say they cannot explain how they felt on the day that changed their life forever. I can. It was the most amazing feeling I have ever known... To truly love someone and know you are loved truly enough back to spend the rest of the time you have in existence with that person. I don't tell Leah that nearly enough. She is the most amazing woman I have ever known. And the reason the day i got married was the best memory I have is Not because it was such a grand, wonderful day, a celebration of the end of my single life... It is because the day I was wed to my lovely wife was the Start of my true life, the start of every great memory I will ever have because I have the privilege to spend it with her. There is a lot more I have to say on the subject... but a) it is late and b) I want to say it only to her ;) No offense, y'all, but romance letters are not something I will blog.



Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

Yes. Myself. Because I am awesome. I have never felt jealous or desirous of trading places with people. This is my life to live and I intend to live it as myself. Now, I have Always wanted to achieve the greatness I have seen in others. But I always wanted to be the one who achieved that greatness. So... who would I trade places with on any given day? Future me. Because I know future me will be even more awesome than I am now. ... Which is why I have a tinfoil hat on in this picture, because I know future me is trying to read my thoughts and I don't want him to do that.

MOVING

Day 04 - A picture of your night

This is the face I get whenever I try and do something right when cleaning our house so we can get ready to leave New York forever.

"I hate you." -LW

She thinks her pictures are disgusting. I think she is lovely :D

This is my night. Sitting in my house, on my computer, blogging about moving. Yaaay!! Two day left. I have finaled out of Fort Drum and come Saturday Night I am going to SIGN OUT ON LEAVE. Woot!

How do I feel about moving? Hmm... Well, let's throw some words out: nervous, excited, giddy, slight trepidation, awesomeness, exultance, and mostly just peace. I am looking very much forward to this move, mostly because I get to spend a month on the road with LW. It's going to be strange... I have never moved with anyone before, except my family, and I was much too young to notice the feelings that are involved in moving your body, self, and stuff. It's a very emotional experience.

You can see how emotional I am. 

Anyway, my night will consist of staring at my empty living room

Mostly empty, anyway. Filonius Filiberto Theobold Tinyballs Wrightson and Hughbert Dumbeldore Ignacius Wrightson are coming with us.... Vurgdar Amadaeus Mozart Wrightson II is not :( Sad day, but every young beta fish has to grow up and leave the house one day. Plus, I doubt he would survive the trip.

I know, we aren't supermodels. But we are awesome, so all y'all can suck it.

Sittin' Back, Watchin' Tube...

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

There are 5 shows. Call me immature, but they are all fictional TV shows. I'm not one of those people who watches Discovery Channel shows religiously... and the ones I do watch, I don't watch because they have people in them. I watch the Discovery Channel to hope to catch glimpses of cheetahs chasing down gazelle, birds eating sloths, and other such awesome nature things. In all honesty, I need to start watching Myth Busters more... They have some pretty awesome stuff on there. But, for now, I'm sticking with my entertainment.






#5: Seinfeld

Do I even need to say anything? Really. If you have not watched the show about nothing, you have not learned the secrets to life. NO SOUP FOR YOU!



#4: HIMYM

Now... A lot of people find this show distasteful, vulgar, and way too modern. I, however, find it to be an ironic yet truthful commentary on our era. Which is a fancy way of saying it rocks. WHAT UP, Wrightson, Out.














#3: The Office\

One of the best, most original shows ever made. The humor is subtle and so easy to miss that you cannot walk away for a single moment. However, I have only seen up to the 7th season. Haven't had the heart (yet) to watch after because of Steve Carrel leaving... :(






#2: Burn Notice

This is a toss up for #1. Really. This show is so near and dear to my heart (almost illegally show... some of the stuff they show on here...). Michael, Fiona, and Sam... heroes and awesome actors, every single one.




#1: The Big Bang Theory

I have to rate this Number One. Every joke, every look, every plotline means something. This is not just a show about a relationship between Leonard and Penny. No, no. This is a show about the complexities and events in the life of nerds. And, myself one of them, I watch this show over and over again. Although what is up with Sheldon's hair in the new season??

Me, Myself, and I.

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.

It's true, isn't it? After all, I can honestly say of all the people in my life I have known myself the longest...

You know, until I read Atlas Shrugged, I thought I was the only person who valued my own self interest above all else. I thought people Should behave that way, but I had never really took time to think about other people in that way. To me, people just floated along like ghosts in a house, without a care or a worry... I always wondered how they did it. How people looked so casual about life. I thought they must be privy to some secret that I had no idea about; some hidden power they had to be self confident. As I got older, I realized... people don't think that much. Many do think, but the vast majority just do that: float along. Of course, I don't associate with any such people, but the older I get, the more I realize how important it is to know myself and know my own values and desires. I place it above all else. Which is why I don't feel like a weirdo photoshopping two pictures of myself together. I may not be perfect... I may be out of shape at the moment and have some issues... but for the most part I love myself. And I think that is the most important thing in this life. 

Ten Random Facts

Day 1: A Picture Of Yourself With Ten Facts

This picture has a lot of history behind it.

Although it is not a recent picture, it is most definitely one of my favorites. I took it (and edited it a small bit on my old Mac) during my tenure in Korea, during a very strange, complicated time in my life. However, the look and the meaning it holds is still one I have today: me deep in thought.

A lot of people think I think too much. I always tell them I find that statement absurd, and snort derisively.  I think that thought is the only thing that truly separates humans from any animal on Earth.

Also, I really miss that shirt.

TEN FACTOIDS

Now, the facebook busyness said nothing about facts about myself, so I have decided to scour the internet for days do a quick Google search for ten random facts. But, I will only give ones which have some really cool meaning to me or really interest me. Also also, butter pecan ice cream is awesome... but that is just my opinion, not a factoid.

1. Although the wolverine may look like a small-sized bear, it actually is the largest species of the weasel family. Its fur is brownish-black in color with light brown strips along the sides. It is dense and long, and resists water, which is what helps the wolverine tolerate the cold and frost of the environment it inhabits.

And they are so cute and cuddly... until they want to rip your face off. There are accounts of them destroying entire barns in search of food! Craziness. But I love wolverines. They are one of my favorite aminals.

2. The Illuminati (plural of Latin illuminatus, "enlightened") is a name given to several groups, both real (historical) and fictitious. Historically the name refers to the Bavarian Illuminati, an Enlightenment-era secret society founded on May 1, 1776. In more modern contexts the name refers to a purported conspiratorial organization which is alleged to mastermind events and control world affairs through governments and corporations to establish a New World Order. In this context the Illuminati are usually represented as a modern version or continuation of the Bavarian Illuminati.

And they are still out there.

3. A number of European explorers sailed the coast of Australia, then known as New Holland, in the 17th century. However it wasn’t until 1770 that Captain James Cook chartered the east coast and claimed it for Britain. The new outpost was put to use as a penal colony and on 26 January 1788, the First Fleet of 11 ships carrying 1,500 people – half of them convicts – arrived in Sydney Harbour. Until penal transportation ended in 1868, 160,000 men and women came to Australia as convicts.

I want to live in Australia SO BADLY. I mean, come on... A country founded as a penal colony and a continent which is also its own country which is also basically an island? What better place for a freedom-loving insane asylum candidate??

4. Arabic is a Semitic language, fairly closely related to, for instance, the Hebrew language and the Aramaic language. Many dialects are spoken in modern Arabic states such as Egypt, Lebanon, and Morocco, but all of these countries use Modern Standard Arabic for printed media. Its function however is different from that of Western standard languages: it is used for practically all writing, but is spoken only on formal oracademic occasions. Consequently, prestigious vernacular varieties (especially Egyptian Arabic) fulfill some of the functions that standard languages have in Western countries.

Which is what I am about to learn for the next 15 months. I am actually very excited!! Well... Nervous as hell, really. I'm not sure how I am going to do getting thrown back into classes. But I am determined to do my best.

5. Guinea pigs were thought to have been domesticated and used in South America as a source of food from as early as 5,000 BC and the guinea pig was also often depicted in art and are seen in statues that are from the times of the ancient civilizations of Peru. In some instances the guinea pig is thought to be a supernatural medium and the guinea pig is therefore often used to heal the sick.

Ours just scream a lot and eat. 

6. Batman's best know ally in the war against crime is Robin who originally was Dick Grayson now known as Nightwing. The second Robin, Jason Todd was killed by the Joker, and finally the third Robin Tim Drake first appeared in Batman #436 (August 1989).

 Batman has also been aided by Batgirl (Commission Gordon's daughter Barbera) who later became confined to a wheel chair thanks to the Joker. She then aided the Batman has Oracle. Batman has also teamed up with Superman in a few hundred issues of Superman, and has also been a member of the Justice League. Batman first teamed up with Superman though not in a comic book but on Superman's radio show in March 3, 1945.

And he is the only hero I truly like from the DC Universe.

7. In ancient Chinese texts, Korea is referred to as "Rivers and Mountains Embroidered on Silk" and "Eastern Nation of Decorum" . Individuals are regarded as one year old when they are born, as Koreans reckon the pregnancy period as one year of life for infants, and age increments increase on New Year's Day rather than on the anniversary of birthdays. Thus, one born immediately before New Year's Day may only be a few days old in western reckoning, but two years old in Korea. Accordingly, a Korean person's stated age (at least among fellow Koreans) will be one or two years more than their age according to western reckoning. However, western reckoning is sometimes applied with regard to the concept of legal age; for example, the legal age for purchasing alcohol or cigarettes in the Republic of Korea is 19, which is measured according to western reckoning.

This dish is kimbop. It is THE BOMB. I ate it all the time. Also, if you ever get the chance to live in a different country, do it. So worth it. I hated it at the time, but boy, looking back now, I learned so much.

8. In 1886, Nikola Tesla founded the Tesla Electric Light & Manufacturing Company. Within the first year, Tesla's financial investors disagreed with his plan for an alternating current motor and fired him from the company.

He is one of my idols. I despise what Edison did to him and hope one day to continue his work in electronics and other things of that nature. Even if it only ever is my hobby... That was a man who was a mind. Unfortunately, he gave his life to the looters... Sad day.

9. In terms of the worldwide prevalence of blindness, it is present on a much greater scale in developing world countries than in developed world countries. According to numbers from the WHO, 90% of blind people live in the developing world. Of these, cataract is responsible for 65% or more than 22 million cases of blindness and glaucoma is responsible for 6 million cases, while leprosy and onchocerciasis each blind approximately 1 million individuals worldwide. 

A thing I hope I never ever get. I have bad eyesight, but I sincerely hope I never become truly blind. I value my sight way way too much.

10. Hermes was the herald, or messenger, of the gods to humans, sharing this role with Iris. A patron of boundaries and the travelers who cross them, he was the protector of shepherds and cowherds, thieves, orators and wit, literature and poets, athletics and sports, weights and measures, invention, and of commerce in general. His symbols include the rooster and the tortoise, his purse or pouch, winged sandals, winged cap, and held in his left hand, the herald's staff, the Greek kerykeion or Latin caduceus.

By far my favorite fictional deity. God of speed and mischief. Why don't they have more comics about him?

And that is all for today. Adios, amigos.

Allright, I'm Finally Caving In.

In an effort to get myself back in to writing, I am going to do the 30 day Facebook Photo Challenge. Cheesy, corny, and dumb... but it will give me something to do on the road trip and let me get my head back in the game.

I really want to write my novel(s). However, my mind has not been in the mood to cooperate with me as of late. I have finally jotted down the rough outline of what I want it to look like and even the messages I will be sending through the novel, but I am stuck on how to start (please, if anyone has advice, feel free to message me). Anyway, let's begin the 30 Day Photo Challenge!!

I Am Not A Gamer.

Seriously, I am not. I know my Lovely Wife (from here on in referred to as LW forever, not just because those are her initials, but because she insists on referring to me as Dear Husband or DH all the time on her blog) believes I am, but I do not fit in to the gamer culture. For one, I feel more at home with a book in my hand than a keyboard under my fingertips. B, you need a whole heckuva lot of time to devote to gaming if you want to be even a semi-pro gamer (more on that in a second for those of you who have no idea what it means to be a gamer). And finally, I just don't have the stamina. I mean, I like to play games as much as a lot of people my generation. However, I cannot spend hours and hours and hours with my fingers on WASD and a mouse, clicking and clicking away. Again, LW thinks I can, but the time I spend on games compared to other people is like the ratio of a penny to $10,000. Not even close.

I do, however, like to game. Yes, yes, Ha Ha, He's a Neeeerrrrdddddd. He likes to play with dragons and swords and magic and all that stuff!! He he he!!! :| The reality is, I just like to immerse myself in something which is not my actual life to pass some free time some days. Lately, that has been most days (I blame New York). It's fun, it's relaxing (until it gets frustrating because you have died lots of times and the world seems like you do nothing but run back and forth all the time), and it lets my brain do something it does not like to do: not think. When I am in a game, I am entrenched in the story. Get the same way about books. ... Yes, I know, I have a book buying problem as well, don't you think Eric that you may see some patterns developing here?? Maybe. But books and video games are amusing :) That is why humans created them.

I have to thank Mark for introducing me to gaming. Before him, all I ever did was play console games. Very, very big difference between console gamers and PC gamers. Basically, consolers are like your hometown pewee farm team... PC gamers are like the Yankees. Here, better analogy:

                                                               







Console Gamer

PC Gamer

Anyway, Mark introduced me to PC gaming. More specifically, to Anarchy Online. Basically, it is an MMO based in space and you get to run around and do cool stuff. It's old (it was pretty much the first MMO of real note), it's graphics are still outdated, and it is not like all the new games where they slap you in the face... but if you like technical things, like counting numbers and really creating a character... this one if for you.

After a while I did not really have time for games... until I found Star Wars: The Old Republic. ... Sadly, I cannot post pictures. Still too soon. *tears* I love Star Wars. Have I mentioned I love Star Wars?

Then I found Fallout 3:

Which, let me tell you, is FREAKING AWESOME. Especially if you like to go around and kill stuff. I don't like linear games so much, where there is only one story to tell... I like games that give me some freedom and feel like a kid in a sandbox again.







Speaking of sandbox....




But that is a whole other story for a whole other day.

Anyway. Fallout 3, Fallout: New Vegas are both set in a timeline where the earth has gone through nuclear war, and you are a lone dude running around killing people (btw, Fallout 3 > Fallout New Vegas. Storyline is much more in depth).

(some New Vegas shots)

We originally bought New Vegas for our XBox... Come to find out, LW does not approve of games that do not have alieeums.




Understandable, I suppose. But I like games which are interesting. Which is, finally, why I play SKYRIM.

I did not like Oblivion... On Console. But now I think once I finish Skyrim, I need to find Oblivion on PC because I have to tell you I really enjoy it. Is it not amazing what human beings can create in their own heads? A bunch of nerds got together and created a simulated world where you fight dragons and do all this crazy stuff... It is soooo much fun. Kind of addicting. LW says I spend wayyy too much time on it and not enough cuddling. I'm working on it, okay? Stressful moving-period-life-changing-times call for mindless zombie Eric.


But anyways. Yeah, that's me on gaming.

Also also... this guy is way too into gaming.

I Have Returned... Sort Of.

*Que AC/DC Back In Black*

Ah, to write. I've missed it. Unfortunately, the Army is not condusive to writing anything besides Powerpoints which make you want to point a powerful weapon at your head and go KA-BLAM-O. But, I have decided it is time to pick up the pen (keyboard? you can't really pick up a laptop keyboard by itself) and start writing again.

Of course, you never really stop writing. Not if you are a die-hard amateur author. It's always in my head, swimming around like my beta fish (who is soon not to be my fish... Poor Vurgdar Amadaeus Mozart Wrightson II!! But I will get to that in a minute). Sometimes, it's just an image, a flash of a scene:
-a blazing gun battle on a beach between men with sunglasses
-a lonely man in tattered, dirty clothes, jumping off a floating city, trying to save the world
-the hollowed eyes of a captive, alone in the dark, begging for mercy from a dominating shadow
-a woman, gasping for breath in ecstasy, watching the world go to hell behind her eyes while she fights for her daughter
-groups of armies on an endless desert, all struck dumb by the sight of an alien spaceship

And so many other things. It's really impossible to list them all, and almost none of them make sense. Mostly because my life makes no sense. When you live in the land of hurry-up-and-wait, you find yourself with a lot of time on your hands to try and piece together half-formed thoughts and vague notions into a coherent collection of exotic tales. What you end up with is mostly just notes on how society doesn't understand where in the blue blazes of everything unholy it is going and really just how much you wish you could get paid for being asleep. But I digress.

The major reason I have started to write again is not because Leah told me to do so (Who is that? Get to that in a second ;) just go with it). It is because I want to be productive again.

Let me back up a second. My last "real" blog post was more than a year ago (To All My Friends). It was near the end of my tour in Afghanistan, and it still remains mostly true to this day. I had a lot of frustration towards the people in my life, and I was attempting to express it.

Things didn't work out very well. Suffice it to say I have come to a very strange place in my life. I don't know exactly where I want to go, but I happen to know exactly where I am going. I don't know exactly what I want, but I have a clearer understanding of what others want from me than I ever have before (and it means less to me now what others want from me than it ever has). I am living in a world which has betrayed its very fundamental principles but I strive every day to solidify and cement my own understanding of mine. I feel a great deal of aimless anger at something which I cannot define.

Anyone reading that may attribute it to adolescent angst, growing pains, or any number of things. I have to argue it is different... One who feels older than one is does not feel as though one needs to grow up any more than one already has, to borrow from The Zen Master. But, alas, it is probably true: I am simply going through a period of change. I don't know if it is better to "knuckle under" and just go with it or fight it with every fiber of my being and try to control the change... but I have given up and just decided to go with the flow. *small bow to the Universe*

Anyway.

Where was I? Oh, yes, events of the past year. Let's make a list, shall we!!
-March 2011: returned from Afghanistan to Fort Drum.
-April 2011: Went on leave, saw my girlfriend for the first time ever as my girlfriend In Person (I know, those crazy 21st century kids, they get together in the strangest ways), fell madly, madly in love with her, and  basically knew I was going to marry her from the moment I saw her/kissed her (that was basically the same moment btw). Also hung out with family and returned friends.
-May - July 2011: found out I "changed", that I "wasn't who I used to be", and that a lot of things in my life were just "wrong". Rebelled against that, saying HELL TO THE NO, and got along for a bit. Lived with a great guy who is training to be a super spy. Discovered massively multiplayer online games, what loneliness truly means, and cleared up a lot of past regrets. Had a few crazy encounters and put a large part of my past behind me.
-August 2011: Finally got promoted to Specialist. Ah, such a beautiful day. Doesn't seem like much to some but... Damn, worked hard for that promotion.

And here is where we stop the list, because around this time in my wacky life, things got all turned around and crazy. See, here's the lowdown.

... *deep breath*

I have Never Ever Ever liked being alone single. I do not like it Sam I Am, I do not like it at all. I am the kind of person who needs a steady, devoted partner in my life. I have always idealized that person. However, I truly found her in my best friend, Leah. And it is not at all as I expected it to be. I knew it from the moment our lips touched after I got back from Afghanistan that I want to spend the rest of my insane, stressful, more-often-than-not-pain-inducing life with her, and whatever comes after. I am not going to write a love story here (that is reserved for her and her alone, as I find love letters to be highly romantic) but I will just say I have never truly been happier. She was in Oklahoma at the time and I convinced her to drive 14 hours, 2 days in a row (as she always insists on reminding me) to get her sassy butt up here and Marry Me :D


(That's me... right there... Goofy guy with the mustache... And that is my lovely, beautiful wife right there next to me... See how AWESOME I am, brushing her hair behind her ear?!?! :D)

We got married on September 20th, and ever since then... My life has become even more crazy. In the absolute best way possible. I will leave it to another blog post to explain the craziness of marriage (I guarantee I will have a lifetime of them) but for now... Leah, my love, you make everything in my life better. Simple as that.

....

Unfortunately, not everything in life can be sweet. I have had many downs, many bad things, and continuing tribulations in my life, even after marriage. As of right now, I don't have a clue where I stand with people I have been close to all my life, and members of my family to this day regret my decision to get married. But let me explain this to all my readers: if you feel something is right and true and justice, with a full understanding of its logic and implications, you go ahead and you do it. And you damn into the lowest depths of whatever hell there is anyone who tells you that you should do otherwise. Life is too goddamned short to live for other people or to take things for granted. Never live for another being's purpose, on another being's dime, for another being's profit. It will just eat away at you and consume you, until you are nothing but a shell of your own guilt.

Luckily, I have endured and not looked back at the bad things as much as I used to do. And now, the real reason for this blog post: to say hello again, to catalogue some events of my life, and to record the next great adventure in my life: Monterey, CA and Defense Language Institute. That's right, lasses and gents... I'm movin' on! Getting out of COLD Fort Drum, NY and going to sunnier skies :D

I don't know what awaits me in California. I know that I have an epic road trip ahead of me, that I will be with the woman I love, and that I will continue to live by my own purpose and judgment. And in spite of everything else.... I will be happy.

Aaaaand it is now 0125 in the AM. And I still have 5 days of work so I should probably sleep. Hasta luego.

Response to A Rolling Stones Article.

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”  ― Sun Tzu

And that is Exactly what we have here.

I will attempt to be succinct in my response, but I will reference documents and I will cite facts and perhaps some quotes. If you think reading a couple pages of information from this crackpot loony is tl;dr, then I urge you to stop Right Now, because this has no use to you.

This... Inflammatory, derogatory, albeit well structured essay by Dickinson is, while foolishly biased, succinctly accurate. The only problem is it has no real bearing on the actual causes of what we see today. See, at the root of this entire debacle, our whole world at this point centers around money. So many people believe 'money' is this great force, this mysterious object which, once attained, grants freedom and prosperity and material things like jewels, jet skis , and vacations to exotic locales.

Money is nothing more and nothing less than the medium of exchange accepted by most cultures as payment for goods or services rendered. Don't believe me? http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/money?show=0&t=1321328336

However, money has become what the comedian Dennis Miller would call Frank Sinatra: it is “simultaneously the most hated, loved, feared and admired

[thing] on the entire planet.” And it is NOT, say again NOT, because it is a mystical, unstoppable force.

So why? Why is money, this simple thing we use in exchange for getting a Dr. Pepper or enjoying a massage, causing the entire World to crumble and fall to its knees, begging for mercy? I'll stop with my antics and just get down to it: because people who people have chosen to run their countries are a) uneducated to the point of dangerous on basic principles of economics, b) feel threatened by money itself (or because of a multitude other things), and c) wish to control those people who they are elected to represent. Don't believe me? Feel free to do your history research. George Washington (http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/washing.asp ), in his farewell address cited more examples than I can name as to why a citizenry would be subjugated to the will of its government, led to believe that the people did not have the freedom to act for themselves, and battered into a corner from all sides. He urged us, the United States, not to break into factions, not to make long lasting alliances with foreign nations (in order to preserve our own unity and individuality as a nation), and to enlighten the populace. What have we done? Nearly as soon as Washington stepped out of office, we split into Federalists and Anti-Federalists. The North and The South. And now, as Dickinson writes, the money-hungry GOP, and whatever his name is for liberal Democrats. We are a nation divided. We are a nation who has promised billions of dollars to the populace, and millions more to the outside world. We serve as the global peace keeper.

Along with all this, on the underside of all government upheaval and pandemonium, businesses are trading. Selling. Buying. Bargaining. Now, no one ever said a business can't trade. But there is a specific place which exists only Because of America, even though its roots can be traced back to man's beginning. The stock exchange.

This is a place where businesses and people can buy and sell portions of businesses, as well as certain goods, at prices. However, the unique thing about today's stock exchange is that those figures can be entirely speculative. This is where we branch off into the crazy world of unverifiable facts and why most people look at me like I drank too much coffee this morning and sprouted a foot in the middle of my head.

We have created a system which allows people to change the rules of money. It allows them to make bets and guesses on things which do not yet exist, with No Real Collateral to be put up in case of a business failure (we will get to why that is in a moment). But I want you to ponder these two things. A) people with money are trading on things they do not have yet, and may never have (the futures of their businesses) and b) people in power want people with money to back them up so they can retain their power. This is Not a conspiracy. This is a theory, yes, but it has basis in fact (as any scientific theory is allowed).

The worst is the fact that our current problems would have been so much less, that we would have been able to turn into an educated, prosperous country , if not for a chain of events, all having to do with money and the way it works.

I bulletize:

• Political machines form in the United States, circa 1850 (definition:http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/467617/political-machine , example:http://www.albany.edu/~dkw42/tweed.html ); this allowed the government to control who gets into office and, by virtue of that position, the flow of money. Those with money elected those they wanted, and they got power. They used that power to put the populace under their thumb.
• Progressive Movement, circa 1890. While I won't go into detail, it was a sweeping movement which brought with it the idea that government helps the people, is there as a guide and a sounding board, more so than just a tool for law enforcement. (As good a timeline as any you will find:http://www4.bluevalleyk12.org/bvhs/mklopfenstein/Apush_notes/Unit_VI/THE%20PROGRESSIVE%20ERA(post).pdf )
• FDR, 1933. The Great Depression has hit, due to over-speculation of stocks and business failure in Europe. So, FDR passes a series of reforms. Most, if not all, are detrimental to anyone wishing to rely on only themselves to do any free thing in this life (one man's opinion) but the fact I would like to look at is the passage of Executive Order 6102 (http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/?pid=14611#axzz1dkFtFOXz ). Basically, this states that people... everywhere... in the United States... were Required to give up their gold to the government... in exchange for $20.67 per ounce. … Think about that. The government took hold of the only basis for the medium of exchange (money) besides silver all over the United States, taking it From The People By Force Or By Implication Of Force. … I'll let you stew on that.
• 1946, along with all the other countries, we are put onto the Bretton Woods System (http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1852254,00.html ) which then collapses in 1971, when Nixon ends the trading of gold, and the U.S. Federal Reserve grants itself the right to print it's own money (same as Germany did after WWI... Worked well for them too...)

See, the beauty is, it doesn't matter if this is a well-orchestrated conspiracy by the GOP all these years to seize control of the population's wealth, or a vast leftist-Marxist-Communist plot to overthrow our way of life, or just one big happy accident. It is All The Same. An uneducated populous, unaware of the rules and foresight which intelligent men laid down for them at the beginning of this country, used their emotions of fear and greed to elect people they liked to power. People who made them feel good about themselves, who their neighbors thought were good choices, and who they felt were good but didn't actually do any research about and just blindly followed. America ignored the Constitution, ignored it's own principles, ignored how really wonderful and spectacular it is, and just ran on fear. For over 200 years, we have eaten away at our own systems until we bicker in news articles with paragraphs like this:

“In September, Perry went even further, proposing a flat tax that would take a sharp bite out of the paychecks of the poorest Americans – while slashing taxes by more than 40 percent for the wealthiest. When confronted by a reporter over the fact that his plan would give millions to the rich, Perry replied: "I don't care about that." His plan is almost as regressive as Herman Cain's original 9-9-9 plan, which called for increasing 

taxes on 84 percent of Americans – squeezing $4,400 a year out of every middle-class couple to finance a $455,000 tax cut for millionaires. What's more, both Perry and Cain want to abolish the estate tax entirely and eliminate all taxes on capital gains. A similar plan by Michele Bachmann would enable 23,000 millionaires to pay no taxes at all – while allowing the top 400 earners to pocket nearly two-thirds of their income tax-free, and then pass those riches on to their heirs without paying a penny. "It's madness," says Stiglitz. "And it is dangerous to the fiscal order. The wealthy know very well how to convert normal income to capital gains income."

Taken out of context and without background, put into a media which does nothing but attack the population with rhetoric and slam us with words much as I am using now, this means Nothing. It is bickering. We aren't solving problems, we are avoiding them. Your proof? Here:http://www.usdebtclock.org/ If you look at no other link, look at that. Our debt is $14,993,43x,xxx,xxx as of this moment. And climbing rapidly. Is that evidence of a responsible government? Is that proof of an educated country? No. It's an animal which is backed into a corner and does the only thing it knows how to do: lash out blindly because fear tells it that doing so will save it.

What do I think of this Rolling Stones article? I agree with Janet: it does not surprise me. I expect nothing less from 95% of the people out there. I wish it were different, I really do. I am about 7 years younger than you, Pat, but I know a thing or two (if only that). And I know responsible, intelligent, fore thinking people don't do the things our elected officials do, or the things most of the people in this country do. I have a great love of what America stands for, what we are capable of, and the freedom which we represent. But I fear that, unless we actually stop doing these horrible things to ourselves like meaningless legislation, vehement protests, foolish violence, and letting greed and corruption run rampant (because, yes, even thought the GOP has taken the money, it is the people's fault for not doing a damn thing about it because they don't Care About Educating Themselves On Any Of These Issues, which is why no one but a few will read this rant)... Unless we stop warring with ourselves... as Sun Tzu said, most of the world will be subdued without ever having fought a battle.

I do hope we can turn it around. If not... I'll be prepared for what comes.

To All My Friends

And all of you who have any interest in what I have to say, you would do well to heed this also.

The following note is not an expository essay on my beliefs for your sake. It is not meant to be. For those of you who think differently, I apologize, but it does not matter to me what you think/hope/believe that I believe, or even what you feel/think/hope/believe about my particular beliefs. I am an individual, no matter how flawed, and I take extreme pride in this. I do not feel the need, nor will I ever feel it, to explain what I believe to a person simply so they can like me. If you think it is to my detriment, well, that is your opinion. To be blunt: I do not care. It is not an angry statement, it is a matter of fact; I live in the real world. I cannot judge you for anything you believe, as a) my beliefs have often turned complete 180's, b) it is not my place to say that the things you believe are false unless they Actually Are false (more on that later), and c) when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, if I am wrong, I am the one with his face rubbed in it. So it does not really matter what you think about it. This note is simply to make all of you understand where I stand, and to see that I hold absolutely no anger/resentment/frustration towards you. This is simply the way I am, and if you cannot understand it, then that is not my problem until you decide to make it my problem by forcing me to believe what you believe. Pure and simple facts here. I have been very forward here, and for those of you who read all the way through, hopefully you will understand where I come from and be able to better communicate with me in the future.

Those of you who do not care to... Your loss.

For my entire life, people have been telling me what to believe as well as telling me what they believe. I grew up in the New Milennium, and as a result we have a multitude of opinions trying to be crammed down the throats of society's participants. You could say that such developed a rebel nature in me (and you would not be entirely wrong) but it comes down to a really simple phrase my father used to tell me. "God gave you Two Eyes, Two Ears, and One Mouth for a reason." I quickly became an observer in life, not really participating in society, so to speak. I did not know what to think of society (other than that its participants were mostly wrong) and I have never, ever wanted to be a part of it beyond the friendships, communities, and places where I choose to involve myself. I see no need for it. I have not, in all my in-depth research, found a single solitary human icon whose words were not twisted and distorted by his followers to suit his purposes. Not one. We take what we want from history and leave the rest, it is just the way most philosophies in this short-sighted, limited world work. People in general are either unable or unwilling, by the virtue of their emotions, to accept something they do not want to hear. I have found very few who can (again, more on this in a moment). However, when I was younger, I was much of an idealist; those closest to me may still believe I am. I feel a need to correct this for the sake of principle. I am no longer an idealist, I am simply a realist. It would be quite nice to believe in the goodness of man and believe human society would lead itself to peace. It would be very pleasant to believe that higher powers will direct our actions and save us all and let us live in harmony. However, due to what I have seen and what I have come to believe, at this point I have no evidence for that, and much to the contrary. I am not interested in society as a whole, nor the fate of man or where we are going. I am interested in my survival and the survival of those I care about. If this idea were held true by everyone, it would extend from me to everyone. It is not. Suffice it to say I am selfish. That is, I think of myself. I think of myself as the only hope for my own future, and my future depends on no other person besides those I choose to take with me. I wish that could be the entire human race... Sadly, it is not.

For those LDS friends of mine, let me make a clarification here. I understand that there is a Plan of Salvation. I truly believe it exists. ... I just do not believe it may exist in this world. And, from my research so far, it has never come directly from God (or any of his prophets) that it would all work out nicely In This Life. Read over the Scriptures; every one of them says that he who follows Heavenly Father will recieve his just place in heaven, and the rest will be cast away. We were given Agency for a reason, and whether it is our own undoing is our choice. I have seen no evidence, nor read any logical, sensical testimony, that God will intervene at the last moment. He who does not make the right choices and live the right way does so at his peril. If you wish to debate this, please do so, but bring me no scriptural references nor doctrinal testimonies. I believe in the Prophets and I believe in God, but I still believe that man, Whoever He Is, is fallible. With one single exception, every man is corruptible. No matter his station in life. Therefore, until it is revealed directly to me from On High that Jesus will ride in and save us all after the Anti-Christ comes in a thousand years, and that everything in the Scriptures is true, I will take it all as a personal belief of my own and not verifiable, solid fact. I will believe what I will believe, and so will everyone else. No one should try to force what they believe upon another, but we certainly should discuss it objectively.

Which brings us to our next subject: belief vs. fact. I have come to understand that there is only one way to discuss something for it to have any credibility: objectively. One positively cannot discuss a belief objectively, it is just not possible. In this, I have taken from science: if you wish to verify a hypothesis, you must be able to replicate the experiment. You must be able to prove what you believe in order to argue it. If you are right, and you can prove you are right, then I will accept it. If you are wrong, and I can prove you wrong, then you are wrong. Otherwise, you are a blind man discussing what a rainbow looks like. I do not spare feelings when it comes to factual arguments: I simply present the facts. The next point to discussing something is this: do not make an arguement based on what you feel. There are certain feelings, known as instincts, which are extremely useful. I know them well... It is my job to deal with people, and so many people operate on instinct. However, when we pass from instinct (a useful, evolutionary tool which developed before our cognitive brain in order to help us to survive) to emotion (those chemical reactions which we use to make ourselves feel comfortable in our environment), we pass from the realm of objectivity to subjectivity. And subjectivity is just that: subjective. To clarify, it means the way we interpret our world. Now, brief lesson: philosophy tells us it is a virtual impossibility to Not be subjective in almost everything we do, as we only ever see things from our own point of view. Let me clarify: this applies to beliefs, feelings, perspectives and desires. It does not apply to facts. Example, if you have a discussion with me about what you think God is, that is a subjective discussion. If you have a discussion with me about gravity, that is an objective discussion. I can prove gravity exists and prove its effects. Therefore, if we are having a discussion on something, give me only the facts. Do not give me feelings, or even references to feelings. I would go into facts, but suffice it to say that facts are not hypotheticals; they are something you can prove.

Unless otherwise specified, I only wish to discuss in the objective. Objective arguments are the only ones which can be verified. Unless I ask you or you ask me to have a subjective discussion, I will always, always be approaching the discussion from an objective point of view. There simply is no other way to develop oneself. After all, we live in a multifacted world. We can never understand even a small part of it if we are looking at it from one direction, through one lens, from one specific point of view.

As such, if you grow angry with what I have to say, if you feel I have wronged you in some way, or if you feel I am just plain wrong, know this: unless you can prove to me where I have judged you and not spoken fact, if you can prove to me that I am wrong, it really does not matter to me. Call it cold, cruel, and heartless... Call it what you want. I deal in what is. If try to construct a bridge between our philosophies with an argument, and that bridge is made of fairy dust and pixie sticks, you are wasting the time of both me and you. I want solid, steel girders with objective facts backing them up. Life, in its many forms, does not survive (or thrive) on belief and blind faith. It revolves around trust (which is faith in something you Know to be true) and the facts of reality. Do not argue feelings with me unless you state that it does not apply to the situation at hand. Be a human being and use your cognitve thought to shape the world around you. 

Conversely, it is not impossible to make me emotional. I am, after all, human. And I feel a great many things. These things, while backed up by logic, are just as strong as you feel. We are not alone here on this earth, and I truly believe no one understands that more than I. I see this world... and I see it tearing itself apart. As with all things in this life, it has two options: survive or die. It is painful for me, and I realize these times are perilous for all of us. However, it matters little. Planetary bodies will continue to revolve, things will continue to evlve, and so on and so forth. It is of no use to flail around like a dying fish, talk about the perils of your situation, and drown in your misery. I am emotional, yes. But pity is not an emotion I feel. This applies both to personal situations and the greater world condition. Please, please do not come to me if you expect me to pity you or your situation. Do not seek my audience if you just want to talk about the greater state of world affairs and curse those in charge. It Does Not Interest Me. I like to laugh, and I like to solve problems. Even if you see me yelling at the top of my lungs about problems, if you listen to the arguments I make, you can bet with certainty that I am trying to come up with soluions. I am a dependable man, and will be there on a moment's notice if even a complete stranger needs an ear to bend. But only if that person is truly looking to improve their situation, looking for advice, or looking for a way to bounce ideas. I deal with structure and capability. Call it harsh, but I hold everyone to the same standard: if you are looking for a constructive way to deal with the world, if you are feeling that you need to improve a situation (even if improving it means just talking about it to make you feel better and able to deal with the situation) I am your man. I am discreet, and I do not judge. However, if you want pity or attention or someone to feel sorry for you, I am not your man. In my short lifespan, I have been through... quite a bit. I will continue to go through even more. It is the way of things, and that will not change. I hold it over no one and I do not wear it on my sleeve. I simply use my experience to better myself and the things around me.

Where are we now... Ah yes.

I have freedoms. I intend to exercise those freedoms. I intend to exercise those freedoms up to and including any point where my freedoms inhibit another's actions without just cause. Example: if I chose to "exercise my freedom" and tell someone they are not allowed to speak because they are a lesser person than me, I am wrong. However, if I choose to put a murderer to jutice, I am right. People give up their freedoms when they encroach on other's freedoms without just cause, No Matter To What Degree. If you are going to try to guilt me into something you want me to do or tell me it is my "civic duty" I suggest you about face and stop talking. Guilt for things I Have Not done is not an emotion I am liable to be suseptible to, in any situation. I do nothing for the "common good" or the "common man" unless it improves the world I live in. I will be glad to help others; I get something from that. But I will never help others who do not help themselves. It is an injustice to the human race. I do not participate in causes which have no point, and I deal in reality. If a man has condemned himself, that is his fault. Only he can help pick himself up again, and if it is a lost cause, I am not going to try. If you call me a hypocrite, think for a moment: at least I am being honest. I no longer intend to hide behind a facade of helping the needy and the poor if they wish to use my help for a moment's pleasure. I will only lift up those who will push themselves up off the ground. I am not going to drag anyone, no matter who they are. It is not my problem, and it is certainly not my duty. Again, I am here and breathing to survive and get the most out of this life. I will make my choices as I see fit, with the best knowledge I can obtain. Anything less would be a crime against myself.

I want to make it clear: this is not my entire philosophy. Nor is it even close. This is just a reminder to all of the world in which we live. We deal only in facts; not to do so will get us killed. I strive constantly to be a just, honest man. However, if my views are a little obscure or if they do not coincide with yours, do not immediately discount them. I will not do that; as I said, I will listen to anyone who uses their brains. If you do not, and I shut you down, do not get angry; either I do not have the facts and am wrong, or you need to rethink your position. Just know that I make it my business to be as right as I can as often as I can. I do not let emotion interfere. If you can come to respect that, then we will progress forward. If not, again... Not my problem.

This will suffice for now.