Geology

 As once quoted by the great Morgan Freeman, "Geology is the study of pressure and time." And so, in my estimation, is life. We study our lives, the time we spend here and the the pressure applied to us in various ways, just as we would the deep roots of the earth.

Life is stone at times. Unyielding and unforgiving stone. There are no fissures, no faultlines to divert your energy when you smash against the granite walls which confine you. Sometimes, when we rage against life and the things in our lives, we see the maddening calm of a pillar of ore. I know this for certain. It's been a long time since I have been home, not that one's surroundings matter in the grand scheme. It is man's purpose to toil in the soil, to strike again and again with the plow to harvest his own life's seeds, no matter how long it takes him or where he is on the earth. I can say for me that I honestly have to try in order to be unproductive. Certainly, more often than not it feels like I am going full steam ahead with a bulldozer right into a barrier of bedrock, but at least I try. I do not let the stone sit, I try to work it to my will, break it apart and sift through it to find the precious metal. I can say, more often than not, I find nothing but Fool's Gold. A man who asks rhetorical questions would have a field day with my life: I've asked more of those to myself than there are grains of sand. But I have known what it is to suffer and toil and recieve no reward, not even an ounce of sleep for my troubles. I have cried out to the night only to have my own voice reverberate in the hollow chamber of my captivity. When we are in the darkest dungeon, we cannot see or even believe of any dawn.

Sometimes, however,  life is just farming soil. Rich and deep, dry and hard to tame, perfectly fruitful, it comes in many forms. At least in the soil you can sow the seeds of what you want to grow. Many sow wheat and corn, productive things, things which will keep them running for years ahead, while others sow only pretty flowers, beautiful things which wither and die in but the blink of an eye. I haven't yet found what I have sown. People say at twenty years old, you shouldn't know what it is you are looking for, why you are here, or even what it is you want to do with your life. However, many times I feel as though I have already mapped out my fields and what crops to plant in that bountiful ground, but at some point I lost them. I have just as many ideas as there are tons of minerals on earth, but no way to hew my creations from the rubble. I feel at moments as though I have lost my farm in the weather and passage of unexpected events. But, again, sometimes I feel as though spring has come and I have but to pick up my plow to reap my beautiful crops. It changes most days; after all, it should, just as the dust blows in the wind from place to place.-

Few times, very few, life is a gem. A product of extreme pressure and time that has solidifed to become a beautiful, multi-facted captured star. One of those moments when you look on your life and you feel as though the very core of the planet, or even the Univerese, spins because you will it to do so. It is those moments I look for constantly, those moments only do I seek. I cannot have enough; it is a greed for the beauty and perfection of human existence.

 The masses will tell you that our life is not for the finding of gems. They say your life is about the toil and the suffering, the pounding of bloody fists against the concrete cell that is life. I disagree. I think life is but the pursuit of the ultimate jewels. We create our world, we shape it as a jeweler shapes a diamond for a ring. I believe that life is that very pursuit, and more than that, that those gems in life are The Only Meaning. It says in the Bible, "Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all." A pearl is only a collection of tiny grains of sand, swirled and compacted in the brine after massive amounts of time in the mouth of a clam. Our lives are pearls, some horribly twisted, some shockingly breathtaking.

For the longest time, I saw only a deformed lump of sand in my life. I had no rhyme or reason, none of the mathematical precision which shapes rubies sold in the greatest and most private shops. I was just a mangled mass of magnetic ore, rolling along and attracting nothing but misery. A little gem of peridot came and knocked my polarization back to where it should be, and ever since then I have had to stop and consider the pressures of life. They have shaped me in a way which I am not certain I like. I feel more like limestone than titanium, but I know I have the potential to shape life as I wish. Now it's like building the pyramids out of sandstone: just have to assemble the pieces and begin construction. But, in my reflections, I see only this advice for my readers.

Remember that you are nothing but a product of pressure of time. Understand the deep caverns and beautiful mountains where the iron cores of your life develop. But, remember, the most important knowledge is that is even stone can be molded into something magnificent. You only have to find the right combination of mixtures and processes within yourself. You may not know what you are shaping, how long it will take you, or even the legacy you will leave (I know I do not) but you will know that whatever you have done, you have chiseled your own life from the rock.