Today.

A subject was suggested to me a week or two ago. And I have been contemplating it every day. I attempted to write about it... but I simply couldn't find the words.

Until today.

The question is this: what is happiness? It seems so simple to so many. Many people answer the question of how to be happy in this life by a few methods.

One: material gain. Money, clothes, cars, interpersonal relationships. If I have my motorcycle, my iPod, my nice apartment with my nice suits with my nice girlfriends/boyfriends that I bring over, I am set. I have what I "want" in this world. I have things which are pleasing to the eye and to the senses. I have moments in my life where I can look around and the adrenaline rushes through my system and I think... This is it. This is what I want. Because so much has happened to me that I just want to replace it. Or I have been told this is what I should have, therefore I should get it. Or one of a thousand other motivations. Regardless, it all comes back to the present. What do I have, what tangible things do I possess that define me?

Two: an ideal. Some people go the extreme opposite way. They forget about the material things in a way. Yes, they are important to have. But some devote themselves to a belief. Some look at life and say "This mental ground I am on... this is what defines me." This is where I am in life. I have goals. I want to help cure cancer, want to research animals, want to open a bakery, want to run for president. I want to make change in this world. Because i see so much change. I see so much fluctuation and diversity... should I not be part of it? An example is poets. There have been poets and artists and writers which have lived in absolute poverty, but so strongly believed what they believed that they continued to write. One I know even gambled away all of his money so he was forced to write, forced to show the world what he believed, because he had such a close touch with death that he believed only through losing everything do we find what we have. So, for some people, it is to find the meaning of the things in life. It is to look at life, religions, ideals, beliefs, and choose. What do I believe personally that defines me?

Three: this is an interesting one. Some people... believe they are simply tools. Some believe there are higher forces at work which they cannot stop and should not, so the only thing they can do is to live what they believe is right and wait for whatever will happen to happen. Ask an LDS member about this philosophy. There are those who believe there is a plan. That plan is above what we can ever possibly know in this life. And therefore, the only thing to do is to enjoy life. This can be taken to either extreme... ask Neitzsche about that one. Because what is fun but a point of view? To some, living righteously is the right answer. To others, sadism and pain and cruelty to others are what makes the world go around. So, for some, life is simply about the moment. What can I do in life to make me happy?

There are more areas, I am sure. I am not the all knowing. Heck... I am only 20. But in my experience, I find that these three major methods are how people live and exist. These are the ways they make themselves happy. And who is to say who is right and who is wrong? I will tell you right now: a very large part of my belief system lies with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. There is a love and compassion with those people that I had never felt before in my life. There is an acceptance of diverse opinion while still remaining under the banner. And there is the belief that Jesus Christ died for our sins, so that we may live. And that falls under a large part of what I believe.

But who is to say I am right? No one. No one can say that this thing in life should make someone happy. What do they know about it? Have they seen what I have? Do they know what I know? Can they blame me for my vices when I am imperfect myself? I cannot pass judgement upon someone else because of what I believe. How is that right in any way? How does that breed happiness?

And at the same time... there are some things in this life that are just wrong, aren't there? Murder, rape, greed, corruption... these things are simply inefficient, wrong, and cruel. So we must stamp them out. Regardless of what someone may believe of them, the simple fact is that they cause harm. How can those things make people happy? Yet they inevitably do. For whatever reason, there is evil in this world. And all evil does not believe it is evil... some of it simply doesn't know any better.

So many conundrums, so many complications, so many contradictions. What is the right answer? How on earth do we find happiness? What is happiness? Why should we even seek it in this life?

Yet... there is an answer.

On this long road I have traversed,
I stopped by a stream and knelt down.
As the songs of the birds played,
I came up with some verse,
and looked all around me.
And suddenly the sun shone
Down upon the water. I stared
At the beauty of the reflection
And saw something new
That I may never have found
Had it not been for those clouds
Parting above me. Only the light
Has shown me the splendor
Of the meaning of life.

Ladies and gentleman, I submit to you that the only way we find happiness in this life is to take a look at who we are. Self discovery is the only true path. If you want material gain, then that is what you want. If you want to attach yourself to an ideal, then that is what defines you. If you you believe in living life for someone or something else, living for the moment, then that may be what suits you. Whatever you believe, there is a commonality here. You must find out what you are and what you believe. Some people go their entire lives and never figure themselves out. This is not the right answer. You cannot be happy unless you make happiness for yourself. If your happiness effects others negatively, maybe you need to ask yourself whether what you believe is right or wrong. But in the grand scheme, what will come to pass will pass. And we will all get what we deserve. It is all one endless circle. There are few truly right answers. But the only way we even begin to find those answers are to begin asking the questions. And the only place we can start doing that is inside of ourselves.

Those are my thoughts for today.